Parkinsons Disease.  That's what R has.  What a relief.  Of course it's not good and it would be better if he didn't  have it but the alternative is dire.  Because naturally, despite best intentions, I sometimes thought the worst; alzheimers, dementia, wheelchairs, aged care, death.  But Parkinsons?  Parkinsons we can live with.  Even R is relieved. 

It was all getting so depressing.  R was aging before my eyes; shuffling along eyes down, stooped, his right hand convulsively opening and closing, his rich deep voice reduced to a whispery old man's voice.  I broke down once in front of him, my fears for the future overwhelming my usual good sense (and I usually do have good sense about things that aren't here yet).  And that breakdown, standing with the dogs in the causeway where R turns for home and I carry on with the dogs for another kilometre or so, was so unfair.  He pretended nothing was happening but he was frightened too.  Who wouldn't be?  We'd done quite well being strong for one another and I let the side down.

But that was then.  This is now.  He's on medication, the weakest dose to start which has made little difference so far - but a difference nevertheless.  On Saturday he gets to double it and that should make a discernible difference.  He's also taking St. John's Wort.  We've read that helps.  So we'll see.  At least the waiting, the ignorance, the fear is over. 

Reading the most incredible book about the most incredible woman, Nancy Wake, the famous White Mouse and thorn in the side of the French Gestapo.  It's a biography by Peter Fitzsimons (and what a delightful writer he is too;  clear, cogent, with a sparkling sense of humour as well as the ability to impart the portentousness and almost tragedy of Hitler's attempt to impose Nazism on the world).  But there is Nancy, armed with her Anne of Green Gables philosophy, Australian disdain for authority, courage, humour and toughness as a light within the war clouds over France.

How quickly we forget how close we were to losing.  How quickly we forget how lucky we are to live in freedom.  How quickly we dismiss the burgeoning threats to our freedom  from fundamentalist Christian to fundamentalist Islamists.    Christian, you say?  Absolutely.  Although they might not be throwing bombs or shooting people their aim is the same:  to make everyone think and behave as they do.  Creationism over science, the nuclear heterosexual family with a man at its head, all that nonsense that should've been done away with years ago.  Thought police under the cover of love of Jesus.  Phooey!

And then there is the far more frightening Sharia Law under which ultraconservative Moslems want the world to live.  That is so much in the daily news I don't have to go into detail about the treatment of women. 

Do we still make people like Nancy Wake.  What would I have done under similar circumstances.  I fear I am a coward and would not have acquitted myself well.  I hope never to find out. 

Haven't finished the book yet.  Was devouring it too quickly so have made myself quit reading and do other things.

Like get another sheet of paper ready for drawing.  Finally finished the naked woman with the bird on her head, framed it and hung it on the wall.  Have no idea what it means but it was an interesting exercise in foreshortening and having the human figure lit from below.  I am not well pleased with it but it's okay.  I can live with it for awhile although as it has a nude I'll probably take it down should we ever get prospective buyers in to look at the house.

On the market a month and not one bite.  Emailed the realtor asking could we have a for sale sign in front.  Took them two weeks to list the property on realestate.com  and no for sale sign after a month.  When the contract finishes in May we will go elsewhere.