"Right Now" - I've just finished yoga and meditation (if you can call that mishmash of htoughts and stillness meditating) and have made the dice list. This - the blog - was number 4. So for 10 minutes I will write and see if anything of note emerges.
We went to an auction today. I bought 6 wood frames with mats (and one plastic frame) for $30. Not bad. I have many frames now so no excuse not to draw or paint. Just got another pen - what a difference a nice pen makes. How must it have been for quills and ink - or cuniform in clay tablets. Rather difficult to get a stream of consciousness going. Maybe that was a good thing. Now we, I, write any old thing without thinking it through and think it gold.
Think I'll write about speed. The speed and sloppiness of thinking, of writing, of eating, of most everything. There's a certain pride I take in doing everything quickly. I walk quickly. I think I probably talk quickly, when I do a job I do it quickly - but quickness kills mindfulness. In the rush to move from this thing to the next thing I am not present for either. (I'm finding it a real effort to slow my handwriting down but in doing so it is more legible and I make fewer mistakes). Anyway, this rushing from one thing to another colours my entire life or perhaps I should say obscures it. Without mindfulness, being fully present in the moment, I don't see it except through the veil of the next imagined (because I am already placing myself in that future) moment superimposed over the top.
It's quite clear when I stop - stopping and breathing being the key words here - to think about it. Logically or intellectually 'getting' something doesn't make it true however. And then there are distractions. I feel the need of R, who just came in looking for me, wanting me to distract him from the enormity, infinity and finality of the present.
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