(Written November 12).  Having trouble finding uninterrupted time to write - to follow a thought more deeply than just thinking it.

For days now I've wanted to investigate why I feel something may be lost by mindfulness.  If I'm always 'in the moment' I'm not thinking and if I'm not thinking I am not - or so it seems.  Isn't our whole reason for living to make use of this gigantic grey muscle, the brain?  So why then does it exhaust me with its constant chatter?

I've certainly become more aware of it and the mindlessness and fixations of its mindlessness.  The fires for instance.  Frequently I catch myself having reasoned arguments with the proponents of burning.  In doing this I'm not coming up with new insights, it's more an ego thing where I try and convince them of the uselessness and harm bush burning does.  So I stop and a few minutes later find myself doing the same thing again.

I've been quite surprised. 

This awareness, this mind observing the mind, is a new thing for me.  A bit mortifying but awareness is the first step to change.  When I become aware of being somewhere other than here and  now I try and focus on body and breath.  That focus lasts about a second, maybe two then I'm off again.  But it's a start.

Have also started doing yoga without the bird CDs.  Have several recordings of birds; in Turkey, India, Far North Queensland, Tibet, etc.  Always listened to them while doing my hour of yoga.  Now I do it in silence.

I've decided to try not to be distracted from the here and now.  Already understand that the rest of my life will be needed to even begin to get a handle on this.  Yoga is better although my mind still wanders - of course! - deeper, more correct, more calming, with less impatience to get this over with to move on to the next thing.

There's always neough time for everything in the here and now.