Just read something horrendous in a piece entitled 13 Things You Must Give Up to Live the Life You Want by Zdravko Cvijetic on Uplift (http://upliftconnect.com):

On your last day on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become. — Anonymous

If that doesn't light a fire under my backside....

Have been at odds with myself for a while.  The quote above plus a post from a friend (thanks KS) have inspired  me to write here.  I've been silent too long.

Partly because of not wanting to dwell and therefore make more important the negative things that I live with (and to not inflict those things on others) but also just not making the TIME to write. 

I make busy.  I make work.  And there's always work; cooking, cleaning, washing, blah blah blah.  So I can feel good about myself by keeping up the appearance of usefulness, of keeping up my end of things, of earning my right to be here.  Yet, by ignoring the things which make me ME, the things which I and I alone can create, I nullify the gift of my life.  I become just one of the herd; without individuality, without joy, without spark. 

And now, more than ever, I need the gifts I was born with because other aspects of my life which are out of my control, assume and consume more time and energy than before.  To keep sane, I HAVE to cherish and use the truest part of me. 

And there's another bit, a harder bit, the bit about being honest.  Other people seem to have their act together.  I feel like I'm fraying at the seams and that my 'act' is held together by force of will alone.  Heard a phrase from a song by Pink (and I don't follow modern music so have no idea what the name of the song was) where she said I don't want to control, I want to let go.

Well, yeah.

Is that the secret?  To let go so that I sink into the person I might become rather than spinning my wheels maintaining the illusion of this person I suppose myself to be?  It's hard work, dishonesty.  Oh, but the courage required to let go....