3:13pm.Well, it's been awhile. About 6 weeks. Almost dead in the water. The computer was down for two weeks after a bad storm but that doesn't account for a month of silence. Was a bit depressed. Thought if I can't write the truth of why I feel down, why bother? But of course it's not just about me and although I thought, seriously thought, about writing the truth of everything, I decided silence...no, I didn't decide, I just apathetically didn't write.
Which was wise for if I do feel the need to spill I can physically write it out in longhand where it remains private. Marriage or any intimate relationship, is about trust and respect and sometimes keeping secrets. That's more important than keeping up some random blog.
A friend offered to come and stay here for a couple of days while I go to a yoga retreat or something similar for some 'me time'. I don't even know what that means. My entire life is 'me time'. Sure, there are compromises and company and chores but basically I am leading the life I've chosen. Then I think, hmmm, what about a couple of days on my own in a hotel on the beach. No chores, no company, no schedules just the sea and the beach, a notebook to write in, a sketchbook to not draw in and a good book to read. That would be bliss.
Just looked at a few yoga retreat advertisements. One of them is across the street! Another is up Bonnydoon. Neither of which I would go to. Actually the idea of a yoga retreat is already too regimented. Just looked at some beachfront accommodationin Byron, $444 per night. Can't really justify that amount of money.
Now I'm just wasting time looking at places to rent in Byron. Best go do some yoga now as I've seized up after sitting so long. Sheesh.
Secrets. That’s why I have a blog on the dark web...for secrets. I decided long ago I don’t want anyone to be burdened by mine. I can’t write them out on paper in any form because I don’t know who will find them after I die. So...they go into the ether by way of the dark web where they may be seen, but they are under a nom de plume so will not. Be recognized as mine.
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