post 40 of 92

Am finally getting into the habit of spending time in the studio working on a drawing rather than just drawing with a board in my lap in front of the TV, although I do that too. The hard part is getting it to be a habit for Richard too who wanders in with various comments or requests.  Am quietly sticking to my guns (or charcoal sticks) and answering without getting involved in finding this or sorting that or having a look at...whatever it is which might take me away from the easel and back into his sphere.

Don't want to be unkind but really must insist (to myself if no one else) that what I'm doing is important enough to be worthy of my time.  Don't think he is trying to distract me deliberately.  If asked, he would be the first to say he wants me to draw.  It's just that in a practical semse, especially at this point in his life when he has few or no projects which interest him, it is easier for him to get through the day if I am with him.

Sad, huh?

Also resolved that while I can I am going to go out and do things without him.  There will be a time when leaving him alone will no longer be possible.  Last week I spent the afternoon with a friend (lunch and a walk on the beach).  On Saturday I went to a cat show with another friend.  On Sunday arvo attended my first book club meeting which was a novel and interesting experience. 

It is hard because Richard no longer drives and has made few friends since moving here.  He is the best of friends; kind and loyal but his friendship is weightier than it used to be, hence he has no one with whom he is on par.  Do people with dementia find it easier to be with other dementia sufferers?  Do they understand one another better? 

So I am being a bit hard.  Did invite him to the cat show but he didn't want to come.  The book club he wouldn't have attended in any case nor the girlfriend lunch.

It's a tightrope.  Do feel saner and more connected however.  And I have finished a drawing which I like enough to take to the framers so that I can put it in the Images of Uki show.  And came up with a neat name which will cover a multitude of sins.  Dreamshot #2.