Paris and the Terrorist Toddler Tantrums

Feel the need to write about the tragedy unfolding in Paris but am somewhat lost for words.  Back to the same conundrum - the nature of evil, black because we have white, light and darkness, on and off?  Having to accept these opposites to know the existence of, well, existence? 

But I can't excuse it that easily.  The mind of someone who, despite being indoctrinated, brainwashed, trained and promised glory in the afterlife, can indiscriminately kill and then, without hesitation, blow themselves up, is beyond me.  It's like trying to understand the thought processes of a dung beetle.  And I like dung beetles.  They do a great job and they're fascinating to watch but still, they're dung beetles. 

It's an alien intelligence.  I suppose if you think the world is coming to an end, which isis apparently does, than anything goes.  But they aren't mercy killings.  Drowning men in cages, setting them alight, beheading, all acts in the Theatre of the Cruel - acts which proclaim the pure evil of isis' allah.   Killing the infidels, the *apostates*, seems an exercise in futility when the end of the world is nigh.  Why bother?  Why establish a caliphate?  Why do anything? 

I suspect these terrorists, hate filled as they are, are really frightened.  Becoming a jihadist  - isn't it really about belonging?  about being recognized?  If you die killing others in the name of allah, then you will be one of the beloved of the prophet, surrounded by your admiring (dead) family and friends.  You are part of the group.  You're not alone.  You have a purpose (of sorts) and the scared little boy (or girl) has a support system for eternity.  The extreme cowardice and selfishness of the needy baby. 

Nevertheless, they must be stopped.  I have no sympathy.  They have chosen their reality and it is one of death and destruction.  People should have the right to choose their destiny and when they've chosen to have a nice meal at a good Cambodian restaurant on a Friday night in Paris, they should do so without toddlers having tantrums with AK-47s.

How very difficult it must be to be young!  The world's violence and depravity constantly invades our space through modern media.  I like to keep up with current affairs but even I find it hard to stomach and must turn to a funny cat video to erase the taste of decomposition. 

We have two of the grandkids here; age 6 and 7.  Bright innocent blue and brown eyes.  I'm not a kid person but I look at these little girls and shudder at the world they've inherited from us and our forebears.  And the muck they must wade through.  People doing unspeakable things to one another, to animals, to children.  All there for the world to see.

Even art.  I get really disgusted with 'art'.  So much of it NSFW.  Or so mired in sex and violence and blackness I feel dirty afterwards.  I've learned not to look. 

Even my dreams are affected.  I awoke the other night from the very real flash of a nuclear explosion x-raying through my closed eyelids.  I thought it was real.  Last night was a saga of survival, herding Richard and someone else to safety and trying to gather essentials like warm clothes, bedding, food and an optimism I didn't feel.  It was a dreadful dream, also very real.  Agonizing about the animals that I couldn't save, could no longer feed.  What to do with them?  How to protect my little company from the predation of others.  I awoke exhausted and depressed.   

I know, KNOW, this is a matter of attention.  Turn my attention to other things.  ISIS' beheadings don't really affect me except that I allow them to.  Today I squatted on the ground looking at a leaf.  It was dappled with sun and shade, bright green, dull green, one piece turning yellow where an insect had had a meal.  The column of air above it leading to the ionosphere remained unaffected by humankind's 'stuff'.   It existed perfect and pure and complete onto itself.  It captivated my attention, reminding me of what is real and what isn't. 

I don't have any answers.  Evil can't be ignored, I know that but I also know it's a product of our intent.  For some reason it acts as a counterweight to all the good things happening in the world (McDonalds and Subway have decided not to use cage eggs anymore).  Is that it?

A Buddhist sage (I think - don't quote me!) was asked about the amount of evil in the world.  He answered that the amount was about right.  There's lightness and there's an absence of light.  How to know the reality of light without the reality of darkness?  Is that it?

Guess these dreams are a reminder and a prod to get a grip.  The mind needs attention and discipline and love as much as the body.  I've been lazy and have absorbed mental junk food.  So back to a rigorous, or at least better, mental diet.