July 12, 5pm Sunday. I have this phobia. Well, I have a few phobias but this particular one is pertinent today. I've been unwell. Major headache; even my nose and teeth hurt. Slept badly because of it, then woke up bilious (isn't that a wonderful word? Bilious?). Anyway, it's all part of turning from a mother into a crone, a process I've been experiencing since I was 42. Haven't read up too much on menopause but enough to know headaches can be a part of it. So they are a part of it for me. Cluster headaches; 2 or 3 days then nothing for weeks, maybe even months. It's okay. Uncomfortable but okay. I can live with it. It's part of the 'change'.
Today we go to a friends for lunch. I don't really want to go but R promises we won't stay long and it 'will be good for me to get out'(?). Don't understand that reasoning but all right, I'll go. They're lovely people, lovely setting and I have R's assurance we'll return soon. R tells them I've been unwell so G grabs a medical book and tells me as I'm a long term vegetarian I'm not getting enough Vit B which can cause headaches as well as many many other symptoms. I know she means well. She's generous, knowledgeable, caring, etc. But her effort to help educate me about what's wrong by reading from some medical tome annoys me, not because she's interfering. She's not but because I don't want a picture in my mind's eye of another's truth. Because of A there will be B. Because of B there must be C. That's my phobia.
There used to be a TV commercial for a cold medicine for the 'flu you will get this winter'. The ad should've been banned. Way too suggestible. And human's are suggestible. Look at the Zero Point Field by Lynne McTaggert. Thoughts are things. Intentions yield results. Hence I didn't want to do too much research on menopause, just enough to assure me that as well as hot flashes, headaches and short term memory loss are normal. I fear taking on another's reality. G suggested I should be getting a blood test at least every 5 years to check whatever. Over 50's should have annual mammograms and pap smears. Poppycock, is what I say. Why?
What is the real reason we have more incidence of cancer than ever before? Is it because we live in a carcinogenic environment? Probably. R and I live without the chemicals found in most kitchens and sheds.
Is it because we test more for various types of cancer than ever before? Probably.
But I suspect there is also a third reason, not counted by the researchers, why we have more cancer than ever before. Because we're told we will.
We live in an age where unless you don't have a television, computer or radio, you are bombarded with facts. These may not be facts at all. Or what is a fact to one observer is not a fact to another. For instance, I've watched a news story about how many homeless in Bangladesh after a typhoon. Try two different sources, newspaper and televsion, and get two different numbers.
Facts, read statistics, can be groomed to fit a preconceived conclusion. The facts may differ depending on the particular sort of question. In fact, reality seems such a fluid sort of medium, I'm not sure what is fact and what is not. I think therefore I am? If I follow that thought I find it is way too deep for me.
What I do know is that I am suggestible. As such I prefer to make my own reality, create my own health or ill health for whatever reason I need health or ill health at that time. What I don't need is someone saying I will have this, just because that's what the facts say.
I am delighting in reading your blog since finding it this morning. I am reading it in order so even though this is a few years old, I find it still relevant (something my thoughts from that era most probably aren't) and I am in complete agreement with the above. I still think much of what happens is created by what people "think" will happen.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to reading more :)