8:37am. I am going to stop buying eggs. As a vegevegan (my own poor term for a vegetarian who would like to be vegan but hasn't given up eggs or honey) I allowed myself to believe that free range chickens fed an organic grain diet lived a good life and I shouldn't be guilty for eating their eggs.
I was wrong.
I was kidding myself. Like I did with dairy. Like I did with seafood. Like I did with chicken livers. Like I did with red meat (going backwards in the order in which I gave up eating those animals or animal products). Two days ago the ABC reported a story of a Victorian abattoir which killed their chickens by boiling them alive.
Someone snuck a camera inside and filmed it and sent it to Animals Australia. Being the coward I am I couldn't watch. I ran from the room crying. Just the thought of it makes me cry. That abattoir is only one of probably dozens (hundreds?) which operate in Australia. There is one here in Murwillumbah. I buy chicken necks and chicken frames and chicken mince for Mikaela from it.
And that's a conundrum. Because I have a dog and three cats, animals are killed. Whether it's dry food which bears no resemblance to the original animal, or necks which are heartbreakingly small and fragile and all too reminiscent of their owners, in order to feed my pets, animals suffer.
But for me. I don't need eggs. Only used them in Caesar salad dressing, egg foo yong and the occasional frittata. I'll learn to use egg substitute.
8:46am
I’m a carnivore. I can eat a bushel of fruit and veggies and still be hungry. While 3 ounces of meat satisfies my hunger. I try to buy organic free range from local sources so I can know the animals were treated well. I justify it by being willing to give my life to feed another. I am hoping to have my remains go to a body farm where I will literally feed other life forms. It brings me peace. I’ve decided that what ever time I have left here I’m going to spend doing things that make me happy. I’ve had my fill of guilt, worry and fear. I’m renouncing that nasty trio. Even as I sit typing this I know that there are ugly microscopic organisms feeding on my body and it’s just the way it is. It used to freak me out. But hey, we are all part of the food chain and I’m good with that. If I’m in the woods and a grizzly bear atavks and eats me, I can’t blame the grizzly for being hungry. I’m not going to starve myself, I’m not going to forego pepperoni pizza if it sounds good, and if a cheeseburger sounds good, I’ll have one. I own my barbaric appetite and I wish the animals well who’ve given their life that I may be nourished by their body and ultimate sacrifice. I thank them and refuse to feel guilty. I know 5 vegans and animals are still slaughtered every day so one more vegan won’t stop it. What I can state is that I won’t ever kill an animal for food myself. But if it’s already had it’s life taken, I won’t let it be in vain. Hope you aren’t shocked and horrified.
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