Dogs to continue to improve. Both got up from their beds yesterday when we had a visitor. Previously they couldn't be bothered. Notice tiny weight gains. Ribs not quite so sharp as before. Lights in their eyes brighter. Radar even thought he might go for a walk with us in the afternoon. At least he looked interested.

It's just after six. Coffee and cigarette to hand but am torn because the birds, wild and domestic, are starting to call/sing/squawk and I should start the catering. Three days ago I released Felicity. Suki, her beloved (and his name also means beloved) was released months ago. He returned in July, left again and then came back. The bond was so strong that I coaxed him into the aviary for a night of love. The next day I thought, what if? Felicity has tried to fly in the aviary but I was unsure whether she could gain height. Thought if I let her out we'd eventually catch her if she couldn't fly. That first flight was long and low but at the end, with great effort, she did gain a little height and flew into lower branches of the bahinia tree. Since then she's been in the veggie garden silky oak and yesterday in the poinciana where she came down and ate and ate and ate. Suki joined her and also ate. Then they tried to attack poor Byron through the mesh. The fighting and screaming was fierce. Byron gave up and plopped to the ground (he will never fly and with his deformed beak, even if he could fly he couldn't be released). So it's all good. It won't take long before Felicity is as strong a flier as any wild greenie. The first few days of release are always the most dangerous as they might get unwanted attention from a passing hawk - and we've got lots of passing hawks. Just have to find a friend for Byron who looks very lonely in that big aviary.

Meditation. Read an article on it in a yoga magazine and was reassured. Felt that I wasn't really getting any further along with it, that I must be especially ditzy because of thinking so much and reaching a certain level *sometimes* and not progressing any further. But it's not just me. It's normal. The mind might be recalled from thinking thousands of times before it can be retrained.

A few days ago I was having a good meditation, sort of, but I reached the place where I come to a halt. I'm focussed and at a level that is not quite daily consciousness, perhaps Kindy Meditation, and then I'm stuck. I don't think I'm thinking but perhaps I'm thinking because I'm aware of the 'barrier'. I feel focussed but also a little unfocussed as though my eyes are slightly crossed and the image is not quite sharp. And I'm antsy. 'Pushing through' isn't something that I associate with meditation as it is a state of relaxation but there's that feeling of something to be pushed *through*. And the unsettled antsy feeling finally halts my attempt and I come out, slightly frustrated, which is a feeling very conducive to meditation! Another problem I'm encountering is the difficulty in staying with it for more than 10 minutes. Set a goal of 15 minutes and made it to 13. Seems impossible that people meditate for an hour or longer. I'm aiming for twenty.

During our morning coffee on the deck yesterday we heard a woman screaming, screaming as though she was being attacked. Ran over to the dam paddock to see and it was someone, not Kylie, yelling at one of the dogs! I would've bet good money that she was being murdered. Don't know what the dog did but it was obviously a very bad dog. Brought a memory back of living in Port Douglas when I heard a woman screaming in the night, one of those still airless nights when sound carries. I did nothing. Neither did anyone else. Found later that she'd been beaten by her husband and hospitalized. Still feel guilty. Should've found a phone box and rung the police at least.