Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Christmas in the Tweed

Our first Christmas in the Tweed.  Just Richard and I.  Not many presents either.   We have our big present.  We live here in this beautiful place.  Nevertheless we did get each other presents; nice token presents; perfume for me, scotch whiskey for him.  But the best present was what we did afterwards.  We drove to Mt. Warning and walked up part of the track. 

Old growth forests of any sort aren't common anymore so it is a thrill, a deep visceral thrill, to walk among ancient trees, to be a small being among old giants.  It is a sacred place.  The aborigines desire that Mt. Warning not be scaled but of course we don't respect that and people by the thousands climb it every year.  I'm not sure I want to climb to the top.  What I do want to do is follow the rainforest track until it ends and the cleared final section begins.  We didn't do that on Sunday but I will one day soon.

Saturday, December 17, 2016

In Sickness and In Health (nothing to do with marriage)

What a week.  I've been sick.  Talking about one's illness is boring so I won't except to say it took me an entire week to come to my senses and do something about it.  And that something wasn't going to the doctor.

I come from a long line of Christian Scientists and although I don't consider myself a Christian and instinctively shy away from anything with Christian overtones (not because Christianity is inherently bad but because of the bad things done in its name), I do believe in the power of the mind, I do believe we are all spirit and that our spirit is essentially the same as the Great Spirit or Infinite Spirit or God from which everything has its being.  And if I am that than I am capable of healing myself.  So after a particularly excruciating morning in which I spent most of the time doubled over in pain I took myself off to bed.  And then to the couch as the house painters were painting outside the bedroom. 

I lay there and visualized the pain as a knot.  I thanked it for its presence (after all I have lost 2 kilos!) and for what it came to teach me but now it was time to let go its grip and relax. 

Cameron and his girls were coming.  I had to be up (and straight up, not bent over groaning) and about before they arrived.  And I was.  By the time they came the pain had gone.  I'm sore.  Whatever it was, in the space of a week, left a bruised feeling but that's nothing.  The cough is still here (an entirely separate affair?) but that too is nothing.  And I'm working on that.

I am rereading In Tune with the Infinite by Ralph Waldo Trine.  Finished it and started reading it again.  It is chock a block with underlined words and sentences that held special meaning for Mom.  In the back is written:  Beauty: Eternal Spirit Truth Infinite Life Love.  In fact, although the book doesn't especially emphasize beauty, Mom does. She reads the book with beauty in mind.  To her it seems important to find the beauty in everything.  She also wrote that sins were like mathematical mistakes made in ignorance.  Once one knew better than one didn't make that mistake again. 

Having done a little research (thank you Wikipedia - just did this years small donation) I have a bit better knowledge and appreciation of my roots through the maternal line.  Apparently many of New Thoughts movers and thinkers in its early years were women.  Grandma Hazel was a Christian Scientist and I believe Aunt Joanne was cured of a serious (incurable?) disease through Christian Science.  So the female emphasis continues.

Unity Magazine used to be a daily part of my teenage life.  I read it and liked it but wasn't really ready for it and even then I was put off by the Christian overtones.  Didn't know that Unity Church also has its roots in New Thought.  

I'm just grateful.  Mom's emphasis was on beauty.  Perhaps.  Her artistic nature, necessarily dampened down by the life she led, found some release in the beauty of the everyday?  I'm only guessing.  I don't know.  My daily emphasis seems to be in gratitude.  Just so damn grateful to be alive to see the beauty in the every day.  And to be pain free.

Monday, December 12, 2016

I've lost my eagle.  That's what I dreamed.  My eagle had flown away and I didn't know how I would get him back again.  I tried to climb over a barbed wire fence but knew even as I struggled with the strands he was far far away and not coming back.  I had a walkie talkie but it didn't matter who I spoke to, the eagle was gone.

I awoke with that dream in my head, feeling sad, feeling bereft.  Feeling trapped, earthbound, inert, sluggish, all those gravity fed words.

So time to take myself in hand, once again.  This dream reflects present perceived reality.  Reality is more a series of chores and obligations with very little soaring.  I am rarely alone, which is a bit hard to adjust to, or if I am, like now, I can expect a friendly query, 'What are you doing?'.  Well meant but lethal.

Took a Natural History Illustration course through the University of Newcastle.  A great kickstarter to getting some art done.  Learned a lot too.  Relearned some things as well.  Happily some of the participants (about 600!) have started a group on facebook.  They are still fleshing out the details but it seems it will be a place where assignments are given and feedback is received.  I'm in.  Have not one original creative idea in my head right now so best to keep the pencil going.

Even now, I've set the timer on the mobile to sit here for 30 minutes and write.  To write anything and everything that comes to mind, just to get something going.  A world of chores awaits; gardens to be worked, weeds to be chipped, painting to be done (A frame interior), enough chores to keep me going for a year.  But I have to start choosing something like this.  Just to keep my hand in.

Incidentally, doing a search of free university courses, there are quite a few for creative writing.  Perhaps a creative writing course is something I could do in the future.

Sad news too.  Both rainbow lorikeets have died.  Found Yasi inert on the bottom of the aviary, the brand new roomy aviary.  She almost seemed paralyzed.  Didn't even try to take her to the vet.  Fed her with a 1mm syringe.  At first she seemed to want to eat but later it was obvious she did not, could not.  Her eyes sank into her head, she was weaker and even more immobile.  She was dead by evening. 

Kept an eagle eye on her mate, Pablo.  All seemed well.  Two days ago, when I took the food and water in, he drank and drank and drank the water which was not a good sign.  But he was eating, calling out to the wild birds, looking normal.  Then yesterday morning, the feathers on top of his head were parted.  Not like from an injury but almost as though either he wasn't preening or he got into something sticky like the grapes we put out on a wire every day for him. 

Last night I thought he looked iffy.  And he seemed a bit sluggish, a bit reluctant to move down the branch away from me, although he's always been semi-tame.  His body shape seemed a bit unusual too, as though his crop was empty - but his food dish was mostly empty so he had been eating.

This morning he was dead on the bottom of the cage.  No poopy behind, no funny smell, no sign at all of what went wrong.  I've had the birds for years.  I'd look up how long but my wild bird file seems to have gone walkabout.  Yasi was named after Cyclone Yasi which made landfall in north Queensland in January 2011.  Pablo had had several *friends* before Yasi.  Birds that came good and were released. 

Could have sent the body for autopsy and get a workup on bacteria etc. but know how expensive it can be with little result.  The scalys seem bright and cheerful.  Although their aviaries are near the rainbows, they don't have contact.  Fingers crossed.

Saw a platypus yesterday.  At the bottom of our street, two ponds are joined by a culvert.  After rain the northernmost one sends a healthy stream of water to the southern one.  We'd seen a turtle sunning himself on a concrete ledge a few days before so decided to sneak up and see if we could have another look without disturbing him.  The turtle wasn't there but a platypus was.  They are much smaller than I imagined.  Thought of them as ferret sized but they seem to be just over a foot long, and that's including the tail. 

We stayed and watched him for awhile.  He leaves a trail of bubbles as he searches the bottom for edibles.  How brilliant to have healthy waterways that can support a platypus and a turtle!  On our street! 

Phil has come and started painting the outside of the house.  Finally we will be rid of the baby poo yellow and burnt orange.  The former owner of the house is the nicest woman but our colour choices are very very different.