Late at night. Almost too tired to sleep after driving 6 hours in the rain, much of it in holiday traffic. (Why do we do this to ourselves!?). Know I need to sleep but have stumbled on Pandora, something I didn't even know existed, a place where they play beautiful music or at least music of your choice. I chose 'yoga music' so have, at the moment, David Evenson and the Soundings Ensemble. What joy. And for free!
Feel like I've stumbled into a like- minded community. My friends don't live nearby so there is little to no chance for long coffee or wine fueled chats. And it gets a bit lonely here sometimes. I am in transition from wife and lover and best friend to carer. It's not a role I like but it is what it is and as I'm in this marriage for love and for better or worse, I'll take it. He is my Richard, still my Richard after all. But, sometimes it's a bit lonely as I am losing my best friend. So it's a pretty good deal to find Rabelle Society and Yoga by Candace and Pandora. Everyone needs a support group even if that group is anonymous and no more aware of me than I am of the fly on the stable wall. Just reading their thoughts, that there are people out there who think like me, that are introverts and are okay with that. Well, that's just plain marmalade!
In fact, it's all fine. As I said to someone today at the Great Annual Family Get Together, if I think about the future I get frightened and depressed but right now? I'm fine. Richard's fine. Met a neighbour on the road yesterday. He asked whether I'd had a good christmas. I'm upright and ambulatory, I replied, so I'm good.
Even Peter Greste, writing from an Egyptian prison, managed to find the good in Christmas. If he can what complaint dare I make?
None at all. And for that I am truly grateful.
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