No news on either house.  Ours remains unsold and thankfully so does the Burringbar house.

When we found this place, I knew it was ours.  I knew we belonged here and so we have, for 25 years.  When we walked through the Burringbar house, I knew (and don't want to doubt that I knew) that it was our next new home.  It felt as though it welcomed us, wanted us there as surely as this house did.  Feel this house is on to its next phase, that someone will take it further; insulate it, install a/c, perhaps pave the driveway or enclose the garage.  I don't know but we've done our dash, saved it from a slow decline into dereliction.  It was loved, is loved, and it shows.

Nevertheless, I can leave it and move on.

Again and again I wonder how I have the temerity to want something else, something more when I already have so much.  Oh, the guilt!  The guilt inherent in simply wanting something other than what already is mine by virtue of being alive.  I have no easy answer nor do I have the ability, apparently, to shed the guilt as easily as I would shed a stained shirt.  So I'll move on because this was not the reason I opened blogger today.

I opened it because I was writing a scene in my head while asleep last night, one of the times I was asleep in what is turning into a regular pattern of irregular sleep.

I could just cry right now.  Ran an online 6 card Tarot spread ( http://www.free-tarot-reading.net ) with the burning question.  Will we get that house?  This is the result.

Card 1:  How you feel about yourself »

Strength

You feel that despite the challenges you have been faced with in the past, present or future, you will find the strength and courage to succeed.
Whether you are recovering from ill health, a broken marriage or relationship, or challenges at work, you will find the will power to come out on top.
If you are looking to give up any bad habits, such as smoking or drinking for example, this is a good time to do it.
 (I worry whether I'll have the strength to cope with the move, Richard and his particular health challenges and my own failings - but despite fear have always felt that I'll never be faced with more than I can handle - so yes, I do have the strength).

Card 2:  What you want most right now »

The Hanged Man

The cards suggest that what you most want at this time is to have it all! Why should you have to give something or someone up?
Perhaps you feel a victim and that events are not going as planned. Trust that this is a passage from one phase of your life to another.
If you are not sure what or who you need to give up, trust that things will resolve themselves over time and whatever the outcome it will ultimately be to your benefit.
(This sums is up perfectly.  The Hanged Man also means stasis which beautifully describes this limbo we find ourselves in)

Card 3:   Your fears »

Death

You are afraid of experiencing turbulent and catastrophic change, as we all are, yet such challenging transformation in our lives helps create the space for something new.
If you are experiencing or have just experienced losing a job, a bereavement, divorce or the end of a relationship, these changes will allow new experiences and opportunities to enter your life.
(Of course this is the Death of one phase of our life and the start of another.  There are always challenges in change.  It is not only the Death of living here, it is the Death of our relationship based on equal health.  Nevertheless, Bring it on!  )

Card 4:   What is going for you »

The World

Success, fulfillment and conclusion are near at hand - the successful outcome to a venture, satisfaction in a relationship and efforts rewarded. It is a culmination of events and indicates material wealth and greater spiritual awareness. You may choose to buy that dream house or a wonderfully fulfilling relationship is on offer, enjoy!

(What can I say?  'You may choose to buy that dream house', well, yay!)

Card 5:   What is going against you »

The Chariot

Watch out for being too arrogant or letting that ego of yours get over inflated, nobody likes a know it all. Watch that temper too, aggressive bullying behaviour will only set you back. If this doesn't sound like you, beware of someone like this that could set you back. This is a time of movement and change, and conflicts ending in victory, so don't give up.

(Notice a tendency to be impatient with R when he doesn't understand what I'm saying.  It is not him, it is not his fault - so I must watch myself and always ALWAYS treat with love and patience.  A big learning curve for this impatient and knowitall Sagittarian.  Had to stop and backtrack when I found myself making decisions without consulting him.  Have to include him, have to take the time to explain things fully so that he understands and is comfortable with the decisions being made.  So a timely reminder to keep in mind).

Card 6:  The likely outcome »

Justice

Justice will be done. Decisions will go in your favour, particularly regarding partnerships or legal matters. A time for some good luck and reward for your good deeds in the past.

(What can I say but Yes!  and Thank You!)