RANT: Jesus, I just sent the boys (men) and Richard's sister and Helen, a trained nurse, an update about Richard and his weight loss and what is being done about it and I get another fucking email about looking into antidepressant drugs and supplements and low sodium/iron levels and assessment by a primary care team. What fucking team is that?
RICHARD is DYING. This is the reality of Lewy Body Dementia and Alzheimers. Death is the final result arrived at by the Primary Care Team.
Again, I have deleted the fucking email. I am so angry I could spit. THE END is inevitable. Why play this stupid game that, his life can be prolonged in a meaningful, and I mean, MEANINGFUL, way with these nickel and dime 'remedies'.
Helen wrote back and said thanks for the update, good to know. Nothing from Anthony. Nothing, so far, from Noelene although I expect Noelene will write soon. It is her birthday today and believe she is entitled a day to be jolly rather than dwell on the fact of her brother's disintegration.
- Depression.... common in our aged population, an anti depressant may be beneficial.
- High caloric supplementation....
- Medical review re this decline.... this may identify a treatable cause i.e. pain, infection, low sodium, low iron.... etc etc etc.
- I understand that the facility staff are looking to encourage increased physical activity."
So my silence will piss him off but I refuse to do that shit. There is NOTHING reversible about LBD. The medicial review is ongoing as he's in the care of his longtime doctor, who is regarded as the BEST in this area, and the RN's. And he hasn't enough marbles left to be depressed. Oh it just shits me no end.
End of Rant.
If Cameron wants a “review” let him come and see his dad and make the appropriate calls himself! Badgering you via email is absolutely not okay! I’m glad to witness your rant, you should be ranting about the boys mistreatment of you and their disregard for their father. Dementia is an awful disease and people don’t want to face it, I get that, but damn! it doesn’t go away because you don’t want to look at it. I’m so sorry that the people who also love Richard are so incapable of helping you and each other get through his impending death. I may be thousands of miles away, but my heart is with you. 🫂 hugs,
ReplyDeleteThanks. I get a bit embarrassed when I lose my rag but must admit it feels good to allow it out, like busting a boil - not a pretty image! I am reluctant to involve Cameron because I can just see me being sidelined for someone with a medical background who is a man and who could suddenly be 'in charge'. Uh huh. What I have done is write some bullet points of my own and put them in my phone (in case he rings). The note is entitled: Stay Calm! But I do refer to things like sending him, if he desires, links to articles on what to expect for middle and latter stages of LBD. And a series of questions about what Richard might want, re his quality of life. And just some observations which might provoke some empathy rather than this clinical at-one-remove viewpoint. Also, and this is petty, but I resent his autocratic tone. I am not a subordinate or an employee. I have never called myself his stepmother but I have been married to his father for over 30 years. Like I said, petty but honestly...!
ReplyDeleteAnd as always, thanks for the loving thoughts and support. Sometimes I think I'm going through this on my own, but of course I'm not. I've got a team!
Yes, you do have a team. I wish I was close enough to put my hand on your back so you could feel me there with you. You are Richard’s wife, Richard’s choice! Those boys don’t have to love you, or even like you, bit they damn well need to respect you! You’re going through a really tough time and they are just lucky you are decent enough to give them any info at all. You might want to consider not contacting them again until Richard has passed. I doubt they’ll seek any contact on their own prior to that. You don’t owe them anything. And it’s not like Richard misses their visits when they don’t show up. At this point, protect yourself and the hell with Richard’s family. Its not like any of them have been there to help you clean up the messes or to catch him before he could fall. You’ve let them know he’s losing ground; if they choose to step up, good for them — but you have more than fulfilled any obligation to inform them of his health. If the next thing they hear is that he’s passed, its all they deserve. Protect your heart and let them all sit-and-spin. ❤️
ReplyDelete