Five weeks before I'm out of a job. Getting that feeling, which I haven't experienced in many years, when you know a job is coming to an end and you start to mentally and emotionally remove yourself from it. I'm still working as hard as ever but must admit to relief that I don't care about the foibles and fancies of my co-workers or whether someone's dudded us or the future of the surgery. I do care about the animals and some of the people. I have met and worked with some terrific people but there's a lovely freedom in that feeling of not caring. It's shameful that I couldn't be so balanced and, well, weightless, in my feelings before.

Perhaps weightless is a strange word to choose but it describes non-attachment. Perhaps that's the whole point of Buddhism or Zen or any religion which seeks to remove ones focus on self - an impossible order for me in this lifetime I'm afraid. If I haven't got it at age 54 I'm not going to get it. Still, it's good to be reminded what is possible.