March 10.  copied from handwritten journal.  

No Lionel.

Possibility Matisse has CRF (chronic renal failure).  Have finally had to take notice of what I've been trying to ignore - large puddles of urine (either in the box or out).  This morning watched him return to the water bowl 3 times for big drinks.  I can no longer pretend.  Will call tomorrow and book him in for blood and urine tests.  Not sure where yet.  The disadvantage of having been a vet nurse is knowing what goes on behind the closed door.  Can't decide either whether I should go to Laidley or UQ.  Gatton Vet is out of the question after how the staff were treated by the new owner.  Think I'll go to Laidley.

He's not underweight, far from it, nor is he dehydrated.  The polydipsia cannot be ignored however.  At the same time they can check for FLUTI, althought that seems the less likely of the two possible scenarios.

One thing is for certain, tomorrow will not be fun.

What I originally wanted to write about was the unique voice of English writers.  Reading The Wah Wah Diaries, Richard E. Grant's account of the making of his autobiographicly based film Wah Wah.  It'a voice that I, anglophile that I am, find endlessly appealing,.  "She...clucks welcome noises of enthusiasm when I suggest spooling forth the the synopsis between mouthfuls of Caesar salad."  Or  "...trying to hide the fact from all my panic stations that red alert might be a mere pudding away."  Or  "A vast pile emerged {of script notes] that looked ominously like a tax return in the middle of a nervous breakdown" and finally, " 'But you haven't even written it up properly yet,' said my wife, only just managing to suppress a healthy snort."

They have this easy breezy self-deprecating humour entirely unique to them.  Is it inherited by the process of osmosis in that land of cold and fog, from PD. Wodehouse?  Is that warmth a natural antidote and protection from the appalling weather?  Stephen Fry has it too - although I know he cites PDW as one of , if not his, favourite author.

American humour seems so baseball bat blunt in comparison.  To be honest I read very little humour so I am making that judgement on the basis of TV sit-cms.  US versus British.  No comparison.  Well, there are different styles - but I'm done with this now.  My mind is too full of Lionel and Matisse and the grieving - for if Matisse has renal failure it's a long slow demise with that horrific decision to be made at the end.  I know I'm okay.  At this point in time, all is well and it is worse than useless fo scare myself with bogeyman from the future - but I am only beginning to try and rein in my thoughts - and they are bucking like mad.