Our farrier came out and did the horses in an introductory version of the 4 point trim. Introductory because he was familiar but not experienced with it and because we did not go too severe with the horses. Oddly enough, Balthazar is the only one who is foot sore. I would've thought Pagan, who we have to tiptoe around so as to not take too much away, would have been the sore one. Drifter's feet, being the worst shaped, looked the best. It will be interesting to compare his feet in 6 weeks with the shape they had pre-trim yesterday and the shape they have then. I'm very pleased with the effort. Lee did a good job.

Worked with Balthazar for ten minutes with some ground work yesterday. On the grass, he doesn't tiptoe on the grass. He did very well considering neither of us had done anything for two years. Plan to do a fair amount of ground work before I get on. I don't want to scare myself or him and suspect I'll be a bit more timid than I was two years ago. I'm almost 56 and know I don't bounce anymore. Wonder if I'll notice a difference in my riding since I've been doing yoga. I'm still one-sided but perhaps less so?

Have also put Balthazar on, starting yesterday as we didn't have any chaff until then, the Natural Horse Care diet. He always looks okay but he doesn't bloom as the others do. The biotin hasn't helped his feet in any appreciable way and his coat doesn't have the irridescence of Pagan or Drifter. Perhaps this new diet will help. It certainly helped Drifter with his greasy heel and grass acid nose (I'm sure there's a term for it but I don't know what it is. Drifter used to get scabs on his nose which I suspected at first was from the sun but realized later was from wet grass and grazing).

Coincidentally, after deciding I wanted to ride again, our neighbour came down, spontaneously, to tell Richard that I was welcome to ride anytime, anywhere on their land. Part of the reason I gave up riding was because of losing so many of the areas I used to ride, chiefly among them this magic mountain behind our property. They never said I couldn't ride there. I just assumed since they built their home on the adjoining ridge with a view of the entire mountain, they would want their privacy. That seems like a good sign. I will have to get Balthazar some easyboots but if that's what it takes, so be it. This means I can get on, go for a quiet burn in the wild as I used to do. Half of the pleasure of riding is just getting away from it all. There are places where I can't see or hear any sign of humans or human habitation. I can sit in the saddle and watch the bee eaters hunt for insects or listen to the silence while Balthazar grazes.

I'll write to Peter, tell him about playing with Balthazar, about the permission to ride, about the trimming. He has a Parelli clinic in October. He was keen to ride. I hope he remains so. Peter and Gabi have the best place to ride in the district. Even if you didn't go off his driveway his tracks are spectacular. Have already thought about floating Balthazar to the bottom of the driveway near the old Baines place, offloading him there and riding/walking (if he's not fit I'll get off and walk the steep bits) up to meet Peter on his horse. It would be a good day out and not hard on the horses.

My dreams give me no quarter. When I've been slack, and I have been so very slack, my night life reveals the truth though I may day dream my failings away during the daylight hours. Dreamed I was in a wheelchair desperately trying to get out in the rain. Crippled and yearning for aqua vitae which I could not have.

But it's here all the time. Lay in bed this morning (not for long thankfully, this day WILL be better) and thought about the fear factor. I think it plays a part in my meditation and I think it plays a huge part in any creative endeavour and in my life.

What if? What if I let go? What if I really got down and dirty with creativity? What would I have to give up to have it? What lies would have to stop for me to swan dive into the well of Self and record what I found there?

But does it have to be painful and searing and gut wrenching? Just to do. Isn't that all there is? I use the opiates of tv and spider solitaire to keep me dull. Instead of writing, I play. Instead of doing, I watch tv. Hours and hours wasted when I could live. Creativity is not about giving up, it's about giving freely.

So now that's off my chest. My interest in the horses has been reignited by the two days spent at Peter's playing with Monty. Have researched the 4 point trim and sent information about it with a friendly but firm ("I'm very keen to have my horses trimmed this way from now on") to my farrier. Lloyd used it when he was my farrier with great success. It might be the way I can ride Balthazar without having him shod. If not, it will at least put Drifter's feet right. For years now they resemble bedroom slippers; long underslung heels, long toes and flares. If the 4 point trim doesn't work with Balthazar, in that he can work happily on rough surfaces, I will get him some easyboots. Also reaquainted myself with clicker training for horses. Would like to amble about on Balthazar when I feel like a ride without having to 'train'. After years of endurance riding and training I don't want that kind of committment.

Started a painting using the new Van Gogh oil pastels. Huge mistake. Should have used the hard oil pastels first and the soft VGs on top. Now I have this rich buttery layer that won't take any more colour. Going to dig out some turps and use a brush to blend the colours. That should thin it as well. It's not a lost cause. It's a learning process. The painting is derived from a dream image. Spent an hour or more trying to get this particular colour, a orange tinted teal. Didn't get even close. Frustrating as I can see the colour clearly in my imagination.

I've got a greenie staring at me through the window. They know where we are when they want food. Yesterday Suki and Felicity were fighting with two rainbows over the tree holes in the poinciana - out this same window. Went out to 'help' but realized they had to sort it themselves. They are ready to keep house and raise a family. The rainbows are bigger and pugnacious. The greenies didn't stand a chance. We have hung a nest log for them under the gazebo. It's not ideal but it is an option.