Infinite Gravity and Infinite Mysteries

I've got the memory of a paramecium. Got all excited watching a program about black holes a couple of nights ago and champed to get the ideas it sparked down. Thought about it after I went to bed and now I can only remember half of what I intended.

It was about these equations. One of them was using quantum mechanics to try and figure out the gravity of the singularity at the center of the black hole. The gravitational pull is so great, as we all know and marvel at, that even a photon of light cannot escape - hence the black of black holes. Anyway, it was troubling to these theorists for the equations they came up with always equalled infinity. Not infinity once but infinity many times. Infinite gravity cannot be. Can it?

One black hole being studied had the mass of 143 million suns. That's huge yet it is a finite mass, even if it is pulling in every bit of matter within reach. How can there be infinite gravity? Does having a singularity always entitle the black hole to infinite gravity, like having a gold card, or is it just for the really big and showy ones?

Then there was this other equation, the one I've forgotten (damn!). The weird thing was it too equalled infinity. Even seeing the infinity symbol gave me goosebumps. It was like for all our smarts, all our advances in technology and mathematics and thought, we will never ever uncover the infinite mystery of, god I hate using the word God for all the baggage it's collected over the years, but there it is; Powers that Be is just too cumbersome, The Is sounds too much like a bad musical and the Creator is the first cousin to God. Still, you get the drift. For every layer uncovered, and every pat on the back for another mystery solved, another mystery appears.

On to a more mundane subject. Went to Murray's Art supplies yesterday and bought about a dozen Van Gogh oil pastels. They are so colourful and bright and pure I almost don't want to mess them up by using them. Unlike the student grade pastels I bought in the local newsagent these feel buttery and rich. Should make for some interesting effects. I've been so used to grinding the student sticks onto the board that using the Van Gogh's will be like driving a Rolls after a mini-moke.

Supposed to go to yoga tonight but there is a line of thunderstorms sweeping down from the northwest. We had a storm at 2am. I woke up with the rain and stayed awake until 5. Not sure why. Wasn't worried about the storm but with lack of sleep I've been a little bleary today. Lay down with Natalia, what a good bed cat! this afternoon. Couldn't sleep but it was nice just to lie there and listen to the birds and thunder and Natalia's purrs. The greatest gifts are in the small things.

A Metaphysical Occurrence?

Last night something happened which was a little odd.  I would dismiss it out of hand except Matisse, the Siamese, heard it too.  I'd gone to bed at 10 but couldn't sleep.  There is that phase between waking and sleeping called hypnagogic sleep when you've got a foot in both camps so to speak but haven't quite submitted to either.  I was thinking about black holes after a documentary we'd watched last night in which Dr. Stephen Hawking postulated that information was lost once it is taken past the event horizon in a black hole.  This goes against physics in that information while capable of being rearranged, can never be lost.  In theory, it says if you have all the information about something, even if it has been atomized, it can be resurrected.  Dr. Hawking said it could not.  So I was lying there thinking about black holes.  One thing (among many) that I discovered in this documentary, is that black holes can and do 'die'.   Dr. Susskind spent the next 10 years trying to dispute Hawking's claim and succeeded in doing so.  But Hawking wasn't finished.  He said he'd been wrong for 30 years.  That the information stretched along the event horizon didn't disappear but was 'cancelled' out by other universes where black holes didn't exist. 

My theory went something like this.   For one thing it seemed to me that if universes existed where there weren't black holes and universes that had them either they had nothing to do with one another in their effects of having them or the universes just cancelled each other out and nothing existed.  Or, what makes more sense in the nonsensical world of metaphysics, what if the black hole in this universe reached a saturation point and 'popped' through to another universe?  So energy from this universe bleeds into another and while that energy is being sucked through to the other the black hole dies in this one.  Are there 'white' holes in this universe, places where energy spews out creating galaxies and the like?  I don't know but that was what I was thinking about when the strange event took place.

I heard a voice, an electrified voice, rather like Dr. Hawking's, which said 'isness".  Matisse heard it at the same time as I.  He was sleeping against my legs and I felt him start and although I couldn't see him in the dark I knew he was looking into the living room.  There was nothing else, only that strange phrase.  I thought it was the latter half of 'business' but the more I thought about it it didn't make sense.  Why say business?  Now I think what I heard was correct.  It wasn't the second half of business but 'Is-ness'.  That's a word fraught with metaphysical meaning if ever there was one.  I can't take it any further than the obvious Is-ness of 'what IS IS'.