Going with the flow.  That's the theme for today.  Being fearless.  While talking to C last night I let slip that I blogged.  We'd been talking about keeping a journal after her trip to Africa.  C wanted the blog address and suddenly I was pacing the kitchen, feeling sweat on my palms.  Honoured but fearful too.  That fear (oh bloody naval watching!) of not being good enough, entertaining enough.  Well, Jeez!  It doesn't matter.  No one holds a gun to anyone's head to force them to read a blog or look at an artwork.  It's the doing of it that counts.  I've been consciously trying to go with the flow, trying to be mindful, to stay in the moment ... to be Open to Life rather than closing down.  Yoga's to blame for that too.  It makes me aware of when I'm holding my breath or breathing shallowly, of when I'm tightening my stomach - as though expecting a gut punch.  No way to live.   It's  terribly sad that I, who have no reason to fear, lives in fear. 

I'd forgotten to record a dream subsequent to the loss of control dream.  Had it the very next night in fact.  It was of a shiny stainless steel structure, huge and irregularly shaped, being built from the ground up.  It was only waist high but it was there, it was mine.  So, grabbing courage from the ether, I'll send C  blog directions and send photos to LVRC art gallery of two works I'd like to enter in the November show. 

When chatting with C last night I spoke of the access to creative people made possible by the internet.  I spoke with envy as well as admiration.  These people are doing things, making things, creating something out of nothing that was not there before.  In a way we are all little gods and goddesses (well, I believe we are all God but that's another post) in that we create every second of every day.  Whether it's a word spoken, a meal made or a hug given.  In the purest sense we are creating our existence moment to moment by the thoughts we think, the things we say and the things we do.  In the essence of that creation, although we may be buffeted by outward circumstance, by the appearance of things that are beyond our control, we remain inviolate, that pure small point of Conscious being.  In other words:  The Conscious Being being.