I keep looking for him.  Feel his presence having a nap in the other room or leaning back in the recliner watching the news, or listening as he usually looked at the ground.  Even now I feel his presence in the living room calling me back to keep him company.  It is the oddest feeling.  Didn't have it or was too tired to take note last night. but tonight with less sleep and tiredness, his absence plucks at my sleeve like a malnourished child.

A soupcon of guilt remains - having nothing to do with the elephant in the room guilt.  Abandonment.