Visited Richard yesterday morning.  He'd been playing the aged care version of 10 pin bowling (using a purpose built table).  It was the second time he'd joined in. One of the staff said he'd been more sociable of late.

Which is great as that afternoon received an email from Heritage that it has gone into lockdown until at least August 17 when it will be reviewed.  Considering the news out of Victoria and now SE Queensland, not sure they will open the doors even then.

I know they are doing the right thing and I applaud them making the hard decision but on the other hand, this is just awful.  I visit him every day and I know he looks forward to it.  The staff say he asks about me.  I also know he dreams?  hallucinates? imagines? bad things about me, from my being hurt to my being unfaithful.  Without me to reassure him....

But there is nothing I can do.  I can and will continue to take stuff to him  - if the staff will accept 'stuff' at the door.  I keep him in fresh snackable fruit and nuts.  Thought another way to keep in contact would be to send him postcards.  Simple stuff like I love you and I miss you, that sort of thing.  Luckily I bought and set up a small CD player this week and brought in his C&W CDs.  Drew the directions, On/Off, Play and volume control on the back of the instruction manual with the hope he can and will operate it...but to be honest I think it's beyond him now.  Perhaps a kind carer will turn it on for him. 

Listened to Willie Nelson's Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain and had to turn away as tears came into mine.  We never had 'Our Song' when we met but this short ballad came close.  It reminded me of 'then', 30 years younger and newly in love, as opposed to the sad reality of now, when we are old and the love is  a bittersweet mixture of the former mixed with pity, habit and sorrow.