Managed to write today.  Perhaps it was an escape.  Am over it now but had a bit of a blow.  Received the latest invoice for Richard's care and it was almost twice what it has been for the past 7 months.  Rang about it, thinking they'd somehow included the Queensland property in our assets like they did before.  Had to take proof in to Centrelink to prove we'd actually sold it.  

Unfortunately it wasn't that.  They've assessed Richard's income and with his income from the RBF and Centrelink he has to pay extra.  In short now I have $250 a week to live on.  From that I have to find money for house/car insurance, rates, phone, food and fuel.  Not to mention hay etc. and any other incidentals which might come up like, oh let me see $4000 in  the unexpected vet bills when the cats became ill. (Matisse is hovering now, he's not sick but he's not 100% either and at nearly 17, what can I expect).  Then the water pump, the leak in the shed, the lights in the car,  all those 'things' which happen and cost money.  The car is due for a rego check next month.

I rang the mob in charge of this but they were adamant.  It didn't matter I didn't have an income and won't have one until June next year.  I could apply for a 'financial assitance for residential aged care'.  I looked it up.  Don't qualify because we own the house and can take out a mortgage on it.  Uh huh.  Owing money is worse than not having any.

So I had a big cry.  But now, oh well, it is what it is.  Got to enjoy my apres Writer's Group lunches with laptop for a few weeks.  Foolishly thought they would continue - what a nice interlude they were.

So will try and live frugally but stuff it, will live off the savings as I haven't any choice.  I  patently cannot live on $250 a week.  Luckily we have savings.  With care I can make them last until June 2022 and still have some padding left over for emergencies.  Don't know what my pension will be but KNOW I can live within my means when it's added to Richard's earnings..  

And the other thing, the big thing which I forget when I'm scared, is I have NEVER gone hungry.  I've been almost broke a few times, $3 and change was all the money I had in the world once, but the Universe provides.  And it will provide for these extra mouths I feed too.  So it's okay.  I gave in to fear and despair.  I'm human but I do remember and I do KNOW.