I am a master at getting myself into a flap.  A Master Flapper.  And then, when I am about to burst with worry, the 'thing' resolves itself and I deflate to what is arbitrarily labelled 'normal'.

Our credit cards expired.  I couldn't activate them online so went into the bank only to find Richard is the primary credit card holder and only he has the power to activate them.  For half a day we had no money.  Had to return home and get him  - just at the time when he should be staying home to avoid the virus.  But it was a blessing in disguise for it illustrated I must do something.  What if he'd hurt himself and was in hospital or was otherwise incapacitated?  So I had to become the primary person.

And this is where we hit the wall.  Richard, while always generous, has always been 'in charge'.  Now that he has dementia he obsesses.  His name must be on everything; bills, car registration, insurance policies, title deeds, bank accounts.  And that is how it should be.  Until now.  So asking him to take second place ....I finally figuratively threw my hands up and said what will be will be.  If, after 33 years he doesn't trust me not to clean out the accounts and head to Bermuda with some toy boy called Raoul, then our marriage is in a pretty poor state.  Demented he might be but there is still an emotional and soul intelligence. 

We went to the bank and everything was patiently explained.  The financial officer offered a way where we could, with two sets of credit cards, both be primary card holders.  Even then, because he doesn't grasp things, although he tries, god knows he tries! he wouldn't say yes, I agree.  We waited, we explained again and waited some more.  Finally he said ok.

Problem solved. 

And I obsess about moving the horses.  My farrier said he'd find someone and he did and then I didn't hear anything for a week.  The horses are due to be moved tomorrow.  This morning, just as we are hurtling out the door for our bank appt. he rings to say it's on!

I kept 'breathing and surrendering' again and again.  Not the end of the world if the horses aren't moved tomorrow or even this week. But now they are and oh joy, oh happiness!  Ideally would still love to have them live here with us but this is the next best thing.  The family is almost back together.