Indecision.  With the small albeit real risk of more falls with the use of Exelon, the drug which may help 'lift the fog' of Richard's dementia, I couldn't decide whether it was worth the risk or not.

But it's not about me.  It's about Richard and Richard wants to try it.  So decision made.  If there are significant detrimental side effects, we just won't use the drug anymore.  And there's something to be said about his confused, increasingly confused, mental state, contributing to his falls.  Perhaps using Exelon with the possibility of side effects will be balanced by the increased cognition of his body in space andn time.  He is so often 'not there'.

Doctor's appt today.  An ECG test on order of the specialist neurologist and then order the drug, which isn't kept in stock by the local pharmacy. 

Never thought I, who doesn't even have a doctor and whose last rub with the medical profession was when I thought I broke my foot last year and hauled myself off to emergency for an xray, would become so familiar with doctors and hospitals and medicare and chemists.   Cameron gently chided me for not having a doctor, for not having a 'physical' - although he didn't put it in so many words.  His thinking being that I must ensure I am in good health so I can take care of his dad.  He doesn't understand that my continued good health is my responsibility - certainly if I break something or have chronic acute something or other, I'll go.  But fear is the great destroyer, as far as I'm concerned (look at the results of panic and fear with the current pandemic!).  I am at my strongest when I am as far away from a GP as possible.

As for the pandemic which overwhelms the media, both social and otherwise.  I don't seem to have room for more than one 'situation' at a time.  We stay at home, comply with the self-isolation laws, catch the news once a day, beyond that ... I'm busy.