Following my last post about the desire to stop desiring to find freedom and therefore peace, this post is a chant of desire.

The desire to get in my kids kayak (so small it fits in the caddy, so small it is 'seaworthy' only if the water is mirror flat, there is no breeze and no current) - and drift on the river.  Drift and look in the water, drift and look at the sky, drift and look at the birds.  I bought it and have used it once. 

The desire to go for long walks on the beach or a country road.  The desire to be silent.  The desire to be inwardly still.  The desire to not have to think ahead, to plan, to check all the boxes and cross all the t's.  The desire to not try and fit everything in.  The desire, the impossible desire, to not witness the dissolution of a person.

The desire to have time.  The desire to stop and grieve.