5:45pm. There seems to be a trade off that comes with aging. Some good, some bad. There are the familiar good things, like a bit of wisdom that comes with experience. Not getting het up about the small things, more patience (although that is something I struggle with still), being less inclined to emotional upheaval.
And the bad things, mostly to do with the mind being willing but the body unable or slow to respond. Perhaps illness too.
But one of the things I miss is the excitement I used to experience about ideas. I don't mean being cynical (although I can be!) or world weary, more of a viewing the idea through a veil, it not having the stark revelatory spark of something perceived the first time.
I'm rereading a book, The Spectrum of Consciousness by Ken Wilbur, that just had the WOW WOW WOW factor when I first read it. The ideas put forth were ones I was familiar with through other works so it's not that they were new, but they way they were presented, condensed, explained which captured my imagination the first time. Now it's as though I just can't get excited about The Meaning Of Life anymore. It's as though I am so mired in the temporal, the physical, the Realtiy of the day to day, I can no longer remember that I once aspired to the Eternal and continually quested and questioned. And got excited.
Now it's, bleh. Like I've given up. Rather than aspiring for the penthouse suite, I'm just glad to have a bed with clean sheets.
6:01pm
There’s something blessed and regal in acceptance of what is. We are close enough to the end of this incarnation to be aware that all of our questions are possibly going to be answered soon enough. Now we can concentrate on enjoying each moment and recognizing it is a very valuable gift.
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